I am asked way too often "what do you do all day" or some derivative of that. Now, the question holder doesn't mean harm nor does he mean to be offensive. It takes me a few seconds of mental coaching before I can open my mouth to answer. I usually just give a general description of my day, but it's plainly obvious that this person has NO clue what it's like to be a stay-at-home-mom.
6:00am: my son wakes up usually screaming "mommy"
6:02am: I glare angerily at the clock
6:05am: I leave my cozy bed and take my son downstairs
6:06am: I try to calm my son down as he throws a tantrum because the cup he wanted is dirty
Wait, wait.. This is not that kind of post.
1. Daycare costs a $h*tload
I have two kids. K is 4 years old and R is 2 years old. Full time care at my daughter's current preschool is a total of $2,204 a month for both of my kids That's over $26k a year that I'm saving our family by staying at home. We all know SAHMs do way more than making sure the kids don't jump off the furniture while holding steak knives.
2. Knock, knock...housekeeping
How much would you pay someone to vacuum, sweep & mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, dust the furniture, change & wash the bed sheets, and do the endless amount of dishes? And launder the mountainous amounts of dirty clothes and towels. How can there be so many loads of laundry to do??? I probably do between 10 to 15 loads of laundry a week...A WEEK! I hired a house cleaner once...once. I paid her $35 an hour and she didn't do laundry or dishes. I consider this as part of my job so I try to keep my house clean and tidy. I do the majority of my cleaning during nap time besides the misconceived notion that SAHMs watch their "stories" and nap during the childless hours.
3. SAHMs have to drag their kids along to run errands
Imagine going on your weekly grocery shopping trip with your screaming two year old who's angry that you fastened his seatbelt so he can't stand up in the cart and your four year old who just took an apple from the bottom of the pyramid of apples. Yea, I call that Monday.
4. Order up!
Here's what 5pm looks like at my house. I'm sauteing onions & boiling water (for my husband's and my spaghetti), grilling up a cheese quesadilla for my daughter, chopping strawberries into bite size pieces, and warming up leftover carnitas for my son all while holding my crying son on my left hip. I never imagined that I would be a short order cook but with my picky daughter who only eats four things and my husband's late work nights, I don't have much of a choice unless I want a 30 pound 6 year old and a husband who only eats by himself.
5. Next stop, crazy town
Part of my weekly duty is to chauffeur my kids around town. Swim lesson, gymnastics, preschool, play dates, doctor appointments. Where to, Miss? And getting two kids in their car seats is a five minute task, at least. "Can I pick out a new movie?" "Where are my sunglasses?" "I want to buckle it myself!" "I need to blow my nose."
6. I don't know the last time I went to the bathroom by myself
When I was working at my corporate call center job before K was born, I found peace and serenity as I walked down the hall to the restroom to do my business in a nice, quiet stall. Nowadays, I'm only that lucky if Mother Nature coordinated with nap time. Most days, my son insists on sitting next to me on his stool while my daughter asks me if she can hold my hands. When it's hard for her to go, she finds comfort in holding my hands and staring into my eyes; obviously, she wants to repay me by doing the same for me. Lucky me.
7. There's no such thing as a sick day
Just like the DayQuil commercial, there's no calling in sick. Kids don't care if you're vomiting with a fever of 102. You are mommy; and if she can't find her favorite princess doll, you're on the hook to find it.
8. Weekends? Yea, right
Guess what time my son gets up on Saturday...6am. And Sunday? 6am. Just put him to bed later, you say? Oh, then he gets up at 5am super cranky. My kids don't know that you're supposed to sleep in on the weekend. They just know that the weekend means that Daddy will be home. Just because it is a Saturday doesn't change anything. I still have to do all of my SAHM duties. I'm still on the hook for the midnight nightmare meltdown, the super soaker bath time clean up, and the 6am wake up calls.
9. We get little respect for what we do
Unless you're a SAHM yourself, you think that we have it so easy. Sure, we can get away with wearing our PJs all day long if we wanted to. Sure, we don't have to be give that huge presentation for the 8am meeting with the big wigs. Sure, we can take a fun trip to Disneyland on a Wednesday. But we do more than you know on a daily basis. Yes, there are those types of women who just plop the kids in front of the tv with a bag of chips and text all day long. I'm not talking about those kinds of moms. I'm talking about the SAHMs who make homemade baby food, or the SAHMs who clean up the toys in the living room while Hurricane Kiddo moves onto the kitchen, or the SAHMs who do arts and crafts to help keep the kids entertained. Those are the women who get very little credit for what they do all day because no one actually realizes what it takes to be that kind of SAHM. The patience and creativity that is needed is often underestimated. How do you make cleaning up fun? You have to be creative and make it a game or sing that stupid clean up song that is currently stuck in my head.
By no means am I complaining about being a stay at home mom. I love being a stay at home mom. I wouldn't give up being a stay at home mom for anything. I am so fortunate that my husband makes enough so that I can be a stay at home mom. All I want is a little respect and appreciation which is what most (if not all) women want. I work hard and just because I don't have a physical paycheck to deposit in the checking account every two weeks doesn't mean that the work I do on a daily basis can be minimized or overlooked. To stay at home with the kids is a choice, but it's a choice that deserves the utmost respect from everyone. So, before you ask "what did you do all day" or "why are you so exhausted," take a look around and appreciate her happy kids that are in front of you; for they are the reason she's been running around like a crazy person and she is part of the reason they are happy.
*To be perfectly clear, I am not saying that SAHMs work any harder than working moms. Working moms kick butt! They're amazing. It's not a competition, and I'm definitely not trying to contribute to the working moms vs. stay at home moms fight. To me, moms work hard period. We are all different with different opinions but at the end of the day, we all love our children and want only what is best for them.
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