10 Things That Changed After Baby #2

I have always wanted two children. Two and done. One child for each hand. One child for each parent so we're not outnumbered. And here I am with my two wonderful children. As grateful I am, I can't help but think back to how simple life was with only one baby. Here's 10 ways life has totally changed after my second was born.

1. Snuggle time

Back when it was just K and me (and the cat), I spent hours just snuggling with her while she slept. I would just sit there and stare at her, breathing in her wonderful newborn smell. When R was born, there were no snuggle times to be had except for the times after the midnight feeding when everyone was asleep. I had a two year old who was in gymnastics, dance, and swim lessons. On top of that, I had errands to run, a house to keep in order, and mouths that preferred hot meals over cold cereal. Snuggle times with R weren't spent peacefully on the couch; they were spent with him asleep in the Ergobaby carrier strapped to me while I jugged daily life with a toddler.



2. Tummy time
Tummy time was the crucial time K spent on her tummy to strengthen her neck and upper back muscles with me beside her trying to entertain her. It was a special time that we spent together. Tummy time for R was him on his stomach in the pack n' play so that I could get something done like cooking dinner or going to the bathroom. Why in the pack n' play, you ask? To protect him from his loving sister who didn't understand what boundaries are (well she still doesn't quite get it now).

3. Nap time

Exhausted, R passed out next to Papa while watching a movie

When we used to visit my parents' or in-laws' for the day, I'd pack my inflatable toddler bed complete with bumpers so that K could still nap. I'd set her bed up, read her a story, play her lullaby playlist on my iPhone, and tuck her in. I tried my hardest so that she wouldn't miss a nap. Nowadays, R naps when and where he can. If we go to my in-laws' for a visit, R naps in the car during our 45-minute drive home. He sometimes continues his nap in his bed once we get home or I just move his bedtime up that day. Whatever the case, I no longer stress about missed nap times.

4. Getting out the door and into the car
It took me a while to find a good rhythm after R was born so that we could get out of the house without always being late. Don't get me wrong. We are still late...just less often now. I would get in the car and wonder why the clock is 5 minutes later than I thought it should be. It's like there was a time warp or something. Besides the logistical aspect of getting two kids into a car, you have to factor in the lollygagging time. Without fail, someone can't find a shoe, someone has to go potty even though you just asked five minutes ago, and there is always something exciting happening once you open the garage door and both kids need to see what's going on. I'm confidant that my neighbors know when we're leaving the house because they can hear me singing "1, 2, 3, 4 get that kid through the door" which is my attempt to not yell due to frustration.

5. Milestone pictures

K's first Easter

I have tons of pictures of K. TONS. I had so much time (see #1) back then so I was able to commemorate every single week with a picture. I not only took her picture for her first Easter, Halloween, etc, I posed her and added props. If you try to find a picture for R's first Easter with him posed with a little stuffed bunny, you'll be looking for a while. I was too tired and too rushed to even remember that it was his first Easter (or other holiday). Most of our pictures for holidays or other important milestones are taken with my iPhone, usually on the way out the door. "Quick, stand next to each other and smile."

6. Gender specific toys

Of course when my son was born, the majority of our toys were pink and princess related. Sure, I've bought some "boy" toys and he's gotten lots of trucks and other "male specific toys" for Christmas and his birthday; but he still loves to play with K's toys including her Frozen castle, purses, and princess dress up dresses and shoes. The first time he wanted to put on one of her dress up outfits, I gladly obliged but immediately went online and bought some gender neutral dress up outfits like a police officer and pirate. R still prefers the princess dresses but why wouldn't he? He's just trying to be like his big sister. And K wants to be like her little brother. If he starts digging holes in the back yard with his toy excavator, K grabs the other one and gets just as dirty as he does. It doesn't matter if it's an Anna dress or a race track, as long as they're playing nicely together then I'm okay with it.

7. You're always a referee
With two young children running around the house, I am constantly tending to one's upset feelings. It will go from screeches of joy to yells of anger in a minute. R is not good at sharing and he constantly throws tantrums over K playing with a toy that he has deemed his and only his even if he hasn't touched that toy in an hour. Even from a young age, R has found joy in annoying his sister. When he was just learning how to jump, he deliberately stood on her game board and tried to jump. K will do her own share of mischief starting, as well. Because of this, I spend the majority of my day separating them and talking about their feelings and how to make better choices.

8. Monkey see, monkey do

R had just pulled himself up. K had to do the same.

No matter what it is, if one has one the other will want it too. My daughter loves milk. She always has. I have to limit the amount she drinks so that she will eat her meals. My son on the other hand is not a milk fan so I started giving him Pediasure shakes in the morning. Well, guess who also wants a Pediasure shake. Yep, K wants it now instead of milk at breakfast. It's like that with everything. If K is helping me wash the berries for lunch, R wants to help too so we wash the berries twice. I'm just on repeat mode.

9. You will feel guilty
I feel guilty about everything. I don't spend enough time with the kids individually. I don't spend enough time with just my husband. I'm not being patient enough with the kids at the end of the night when I'm exhausted and mentally done with the day. I'm not dedicating enough time to educational learning like reading and math. I'm not brushing the cat enough. My house isn't as clean as it should be. I should be playing with the kids instead of cleaning. I can go on forever.

10. Someone always has to wait
I don't feel that my kids are exceptionally needed, yet at least one child is always waiting for me. It started pretty much as soon as R was born. K, then not even two years old, decided that she was ready to potty train and timed her bowel movements to coincide with R's nursing schedule. I felt awful that I couldn't encourage her new found interest in the potty but I had a tiny being latched onto me. And the saga continues. Just today, R was on the verge of a meltdown due to a frustrating, complicated train track building problem and K needed me to file down a toe nail that she just discovered to be too "roughy" while I was finishing up vacuuming. It's as if they held a secret meeting and established that they would need something simultaneously and preferably while mommy is right in the middle of something else.