Before I started dating my husband, I spent every single weekend with my best friend. The minute 5 o'clock hit on Friday, I was on the road to Huntington Beach to pick up my bestie to get our weekend of partying started. We spent our nights in the local dive bar singing Journey songs at the top of our lungs with our vodka tonics in hand. She was my partner in crime.
She is the tall bff that every short girl needs, she's my Meredith to my Christina, she's my lady. Fast forward to the present, I have two kids and she has one furbaby. Life after children has placed our friendship not even on the back burner-it's in the back of the pantry. I am lucky if I get a 20 minute phone call conversation with her nowadays.
While we don't see each other nearly as often as we used to, she's still my lady. And here's six things I want her and every other friend without kids to know.
I don't mean to be pre-occupied and distracted by my kiddos. I would love to relax on the couch and have an unlimited amount of time to dedicate to our conversation. Trust me, I really would. Unfortunately, that is just not the reality of my life right now. The majority of our phone calls take place when you're on your way home which is also the dreaded witching hour when I'm trying to get dinner on the table, soothe a cranky toddler, and battle with a fiesty four year old who thinks she's the boss. With everything that is going on, I don't mean to interrupt you or miss that last five minute chunk of your story. I do really want to hear about your last trip to San Francisco or your busy work week.
2. I rely on you to whisk us away from our boring, groundhog day
My days are filled with cleaning things/rooms/body parts and trying to keep the peace/sanity in the house, so I rely on you to remind me of what it's like to be around people over 4 feet tall. Don't get me wrong. I love being a SAHM, but it can get a little mundane. I need you to fill my brain with adult things so that I can get through the rest of my Frozen-has-been-on-repeat-for-the-fifth-time day.
3. Kids are uber expensive
I'd love to go to our favorite Italian restaurant and shop for hours in the mall that has stores like Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, and 87 other stores that I wish I could afford to shop at or I am so out of my league that I don't even recognize the store. But, I have a budget and the kids suck every last penny of it right out of my wallet. Shopping for myself has become a rarity and when I do shop for myself it's usually from the clearance sale, which by the way I get extremely excited about. There's a guilt that overcomes me when I swipe my credit card on something for myself. It's something that I need to work on. I'm trying to work on it. In the meantime, unless you're taking me to a Stride Rite sale, I will just be your shopping companion without any actual shopping bags and please don't judge me for it.
4. I am secretly happy that your dog wakes you up at 5 am
Misery loves company. If I get to sleep past 6:30 am, it's a miraculous morning. It took me a while to get the kids to wake up that "late." I had a lot of help from that clock with the picture of the bunny sleeping and the picture of the bunny awake. Look it up. It's awesome. I sometimes hear my two year old before 6:30 am but he knows now that he needs to wait until the "bunny wakes up" which is 6:30 am before he can throw open my bedroom door and wake us up. So, I am thrilled at the thought that you are also awake, probably laying on the couch loathing the clock right now just as I am. Am I a bad person?
5. I have perma-mommy brain
I hate the fact that I can't remember anything past yesterday. I hate that we just had a lovely yet quick phone conversation but I forgot to ask you about your sister's wedding. I'm always exhausted because something always wakes me up in the middle of the night (one wake up, if I'm lucky), I spend all of my energy trying to referee my two kids and answer their non-stop questions, and the only time I get to sit down is during nap time, if I'm lucky. So, my brain is mush. The fact that the majority of my conversations occur with a preschooler doesn't help exercise my brain either. I need to commit to doing my Lumosity more. I need to set an alarm in my phone otherwise I won't remember. Wait, what I am writing about?
6. I'm so grateful for you and our friendship
Life has changed our relationship, but I am so grateful that you understand that I have mini-me's that have overtaken my life and can no longer dedicate even a quarter of time to our friendship that I used to. My love for you hasn't changed and you are an amazing friend. Love you.
3. Kids are uber expensive
I'd love to go to our favorite Italian restaurant and shop for hours in the mall that has stores like Louis Vuitton, Jimmy Choo, and 87 other stores that I wish I could afford to shop at or I am so out of my league that I don't even recognize the store. But, I have a budget and the kids suck every last penny of it right out of my wallet. Shopping for myself has become a rarity and when I do shop for myself it's usually from the clearance sale, which by the way I get extremely excited about. There's a guilt that overcomes me when I swipe my credit card on something for myself. It's something that I need to work on. I'm trying to work on it. In the meantime, unless you're taking me to a Stride Rite sale, I will just be your shopping companion without any actual shopping bags and please don't judge me for it.
4. I am secretly happy that your dog wakes you up at 5 am
Misery loves company. If I get to sleep past 6:30 am, it's a miraculous morning. It took me a while to get the kids to wake up that "late." I had a lot of help from that clock with the picture of the bunny sleeping and the picture of the bunny awake. Look it up. It's awesome. I sometimes hear my two year old before 6:30 am but he knows now that he needs to wait until the "bunny wakes up" which is 6:30 am before he can throw open my bedroom door and wake us up. So, I am thrilled at the thought that you are also awake, probably laying on the couch loathing the clock right now just as I am. Am I a bad person?
5. I have perma-mommy brain
I hate the fact that I can't remember anything past yesterday. I hate that we just had a lovely yet quick phone conversation but I forgot to ask you about your sister's wedding. I'm always exhausted because something always wakes me up in the middle of the night (one wake up, if I'm lucky), I spend all of my energy trying to referee my two kids and answer their non-stop questions, and the only time I get to sit down is during nap time, if I'm lucky. So, my brain is mush. The fact that the majority of my conversations occur with a preschooler doesn't help exercise my brain either. I need to commit to doing my Lumosity more. I need to set an alarm in my phone otherwise I won't remember. Wait, what I am writing about?
6. I'm so grateful for you and our friendship
Life has changed our relationship, but I am so grateful that you understand that I have mini-me's that have overtaken my life and can no longer dedicate even a quarter of time to our friendship that I used to. My love for you hasn't changed and you are an amazing friend. Love you.
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